Surgery, struggles, self-acceptance

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This was the moment. Michael Goodman, MD, of Indianapolis, knew he'd reached self-acceptance as he hit the post button on Facebook.

"People with facial deformities want to be treated like any other normally developed person: respected, even loved," it read, in part.

It was the first time he felt confident sharing his experience.

"The post went what I call Indiana viral," said Dr. Goodman. "Meaning it got a lot of recognition and was shared thousands of times on different social media sites. I don't think I would have done that if I hadn't fully accepted myself. When I realized that I'm comfortable posting and sharing this part of my life, that was the beginning moment of acceptance."

Dr. Goodman was born with Treacher Collins syndrome, a genetic disorder that affects the development of the skull and face, including underdevelopment of the cheekbones, lower jaw and ears. It led to breathing and hearing difficulties for Dr. Goodman. It also meant extensive facial reconstruction surgery during his childhood and young adult life.

"My medical journey was a lot of doctors' appointments and surgeries on days off from school or holiday breaks like summer and winter break," said Dr. Goodman. "I had appointments or operations to improve both the function of my jaw, my speech and breathing."

Dr. Goodman said he didn't always deal with the effects of the syndrome or the reconstruction well.

Overcoming challenges

"Mentally, I really struggled with it," said Dr. Goodman. "I was awful angry and frustrated at times with all the appointments and recovery and pain. But ultimately, I recovered from every surgery relatively well."

Dr. Goodman also contended with bullying growing up because of his facial difference, which led to two suicide attempts in his senior year of high school.

"I didn't really see the future or understand why I had to deal with what I had been dealing with," said Dr. Goodman. "Thankfully, I wasn't successful. Thankfully, I got help with my parents' assistance, but it was very hard at times to keep going."

As he headed to college, Dr. Goodman wanted nothing to do with a career in medicine.

"I spent a lot of time in clinics and the O.R. and waiting areas," said Dr. Goodman. "I've done my time there. I don't need to do anymore."

He considered being a sportswriter, pharmacist, chemist, accountant and biologist before ultimately deciding to become a doctor.

"I thought I could bring my point of view of being a patient to being a doctor," said Dr. Goodman. "Since I had been a patient, I could bring that to the bedside."

At first, Dr. Goodman studied to be a plastic surgeon with the goal of helping children who had facial differences.

"I found out very quickly that I did not want to be a surgeon," he said. "There were many reasons, mentally and physically."

He switched to pediatrics, but not before making an impression on ASPS Member Surgeon Jason Cacioppo, MD, who was an instructor at Indiana University School of Medicine, where Dr. Goodman was a medical student.

"I was aware Michael had Treacher Collins syndrome probably from the moment I met him," said Dr. Cacioppo. "But that's not how I remember him. I just remember him being a very good student."

The student becomes the teacher

Dr. Goodman turned from student to teacher, but he wasn't teaching medicine. The movie "Wonder," about a boy with Treacher Collins syndrome, was released in 2017. It inspired him to share on social media his own story about having a facial difference.

"I also have Treacher Collins syndrome, like Auggie has in Wonder," it read, in part. "I have experienced 75% of the social struggles Auggie dealt with, plus attempted suicide twice my senior year of high school, in addition to a family not allowing me to take care of their child as a physician due to my appearance and my speech."

He knew he had come to fully accept himself when he wanted to share his experience publicly. That viral Facebook post led him back to the classroom and a larger platform.

"I got a ton of messages on social media and some of them were from teachers who asked me if I would like to come talk to their class," said Dr. Goodman. "I'm like, 'No, I had not thought about that.' That was not the intent of that post."

Yet, he took a teacher up on the offer to speak to her class.

"It's meant for all kids, but with a special emphasis on kids who might look or act different," said Dr. Goodman. "I want them to know that there are other people struggling."

He's spoken to more than 30,000 children throughout the United States and Australia, where he has family. His presentation has changed over the years, but his message remains the same.

"I'm hearing impaired," said Dr. Goodman. "I was always told you need to really listen to people, so you make sure you're not missing what they're saying to you, which makes complete sense. But I, unfortunately, believed a lot of things that I was told. You get to choose how much you are affected by someone else's words. I don't think I realized that as a kid. But we also have the other side of that: We have to realize our words can be harmful."

He counsels children to be comfortable with who they are and accepting of those with differences.

"Just be you," said Dr. Goodman. "If that means being a little quirky, a little weird, a little different, that's OK. I think that makes the world a better place. It would be awful boring if we were all the same."

Dr. Cacioppo, who specializes in breast reconstruction, said Dr. Goodman's experience has inspired him to be more compassionate with his patients.

"I don't treat facial deformities," said Dr. Cacioppo. "But I certainly treat a lot of patients who have a lot of differences. It reminds me to always strive and treat those patients with respect and be as inclusive as possible."

Dr. Goodman is using his words and what he calls "a crude PowerPoint" to spread the message of being kind. Not only to others, but also to ourselves.

"Words can and do hurt," reads the Facebook post that kicked off his talks.

"If I could go back and tell myself something regarding bullies, it is: 'Yes, you have to listen to them when they're saying something to you,'" Dr. Goodman said. "'But you don't have to believe them, and I believed them. That was my mistake.'"

It's a mistake he doesn't want other kids to make. He hopes to help children come to self-acceptance no matter the obstacles they face – physical, mental, emotional – sooner, so he plans to continue giving his presentation in as many classrooms as he is invited to speak.

"I don't think I realized how uncomfortable I was with myself until I became comfortable with myself, if that makes any sense," said Dr. Goodman. "That didn't happen until much later in my life. It took me a very long time to be okay with having the condition and realizing that I don't really have a lot of control over it."

To find a qualified plastic surgeon for any cosmetic or reconstructive procedure, consult a member of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. All ASPS members are board certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery, have completed an accredited plastic surgery training program, practice in accredited facilities and follow strict standards of safety and ethics. Find an ASPS member in your area.